My MAP

My mom is the youngest of 7. By alot! I can recall as kid thinking that people who thought their grandparents were old were weird. Their grandparents were the same age as my aunts and uncles, my Grandma on the other hand was OLD. In April of 2008 my mom's oldest sister, Mary Ann, got really sick. She was having a problem with afib (her heart not beating right) and then she got a whopping case of pnuemonia. It took until June to get her back to semi healthy and to be able to worry about the afib and the problem it was casuing. In July of 2008 Mary Ann had massive open heart surgery. She had rheumatic fever as a child and it damaged her heart valves. She was drasticly ill with the pneumonia and then had barely recovered when she had to have the surgery. But someone up there didn't want her then, and apparently isn't ready for her now yet either. She pulled through the pnuemonia and the heart surgery, in which she had a valve replaced, one repaired and had a pacemaker put in. When she came home from the hospital she weighed 88 pounds. 88 pounds! I think my left leg weighs that much. Skip to today, just about 18 months later, and as far as she has come, as much as she has healed and as well as she has been feeling, she is having open heart surgery again! While we were at Disneyland, she had a TIA (very minor stroke). I knew that should not be happening. I do not pretend to be a know it all (ok, maybe I do once is a while!) but I know that strokes are generally caused by blood clots and she is on blood thinners, so there should be no clots. So I threw a fit at my mom (a very small fit, ranked by my abilities) and told her we had to get Mary Ann up to SLC, so we could get her into see her heart doctors. We flew home on Monday night and Tuesday morning we were at LDS hospital to see Dr. Miner. We had not idea, that that visit would lead us back to surgery. Dr. Miner ordered and ECHO and they found a booger on her heart valve. The new one. The one she just had replaced in July 2008. Wanting more info, Dr. Miner sent us to IMC for a 3-d TEE (trens-esophogial ECHO) with Dr. Horton. I figured they would set an appointment for us, oh no! I was told to go now and they would be waiting for us. Even with a crystal ball, I would not have guessed how this all would end. Dr. Horton is "the man" when it come to heart scans. He is the director of the ECHO program at IMC and it awesome. He did the TEE, said all looked good, it must have just been a weird angle and allowed us to go home. 8 hours later. We got to LDS at 8:30 am and I pulled out of IMC's parking lot at 4:26pm. A very long day. The next day, I got a call from Dr. Horton. Himself. Not his nurse, not his staff, but HIM. That alone threw up red flashing lights. He said he understood we had an appt with heart failure on Thursday and would we mind if he did a follow up echo just to be safe. Things were not sitting well with him and he just wanted to be sure. No biggie I said, we did the ECHO with the appointment and it still looked good. So he let her leave the hospital, but NOT go home to Price, he said she needed to stay in SLC, just to be safe, and would we mind coming back one more time just to be safe, in one week, to make sure that this booger was gone gone and all was well. Sure, we have come this far, why not. So fast forward a nice weekend, My brother and his wife went out of town (for the first time since the twins were born) and left the boys with my mom and aunt. It was nice for everyone. On Monday, my Uncle John made the trip down from the monestary to visit with his sister's and come see the kiddies. The rest of the week was blessedly uneventful. Roll on up to Thursday morning. My mom took the day off to take Mary Ann to her appointment. My kids had spent about 15 hours without me the previous week while I took care of Mary Ann, and not that they really minded, but I could tell we were all out of sorts and just getting back on track. So Mom took her. And am I ever glad she did. Damned if that booger wasn't back. So after the ECHO, Dr. Horton decided that it was another TEE, which we did, and yep, there is was. Which is REALLY bad! It should NOT be coming and going. So now we had a whole new issue, and these awesome doctors, made the hardest call. They decided that it must be some kind of infection, and that the only way to get rid of it and make sure she doesn't have a major stroke is to replace the valve! What!?!?!?!? Seemed like it took 20 seconds to go from seems to be okay to the world crumbling. I am worried, afraid and scared. The Doc's had her admitted to the hospital directly from her appointment on Thursday to ween her from her blood thinners in a safer environment.....i.e. if she were to throw another chunk of that infection booger she was where she needs to be. And she is now first on Dr. Clayson's surgery list on Monday. I am torn. I want her to be okay, but I do not want her to suffer in anyway! I am at a bit of a loss right now, I pray for what is best, knowing that is not necessiraly what I really want. Because what is best and what I want can be seen as polar opposites. I want her to be okay, I want my children to have more time with her, but I do not want her to have to endure surgery after surgery. I know she is wildly healthier this time. Good grief she is up to a wopping 133 pounds (she would so beat me if she knew I just posted her weight for the world to see! Good thing she cannot even turn a computer on huh!). 400 times stronger and so much better..........but I still worry. The last time we did this, one of her doctors looked at her some months after surgery and told her he really hadn't expected her to make it off the surgical table. When we started this whole thing, Lex was 4 months old and Mary Ann could not hold her on her lap, and now she picks up my 2 year old. I know she is healthier, I know she is stronger. Problem is I'm not. I am not stronger, and I am not ready to loose her. So, here is to Monday, a smooth surgery, a great team of doctors, and to my sweet Aunt. I love you and can't wait for you to be better (AGAIN), to play checker with Nathan and play-doh with Lex. To snarl at my cat to get away, or ask if he is still alive becasue he is sleping on his back and to tell me I am just mean enough to make you do what ever it is you don't want to do. That's what I am here for...........................